For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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