Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
