Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
