I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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