Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
