mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
