don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize