Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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