According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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