I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
