you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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