another moral hangover. fuck.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
