went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
