ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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