Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
