i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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