also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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