I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
