so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
