You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
