Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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