i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
where are you?
Hypothermia
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
