She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's never too late to be topless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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