ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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