sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
