im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
