sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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