I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
