I don't think brook has ever known best
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
