You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
