This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
pop tarts are not kleenex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
