I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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