If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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