You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
