Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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