you would pick up someone in the library
what day is it and did you see me today?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
