uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i would punch a child for taco bell
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
