I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
