did you get engaged???
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
