girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
