All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
