dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
