Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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