No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
