I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
