If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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