oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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