Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
