In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm too high and old for this...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
