there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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